At SeniorLAW Center’s 2024 “Celebrating Justice” Gala, we paid tribute to Senior Director of Finance and Operations Larry Felzer, Esq.’s exemplary leadership in the public interest, legal, and LGBTQ+ communities, as well as his twenty-plus years of service advancing justice for older adults at SeniorLAW Center. As a Champion for Justice Honoree, Larry gave the following speech at the Gala, which has been adapted for this blog.
Not everyone understands – or understands the depth of – chosen family
Chosen family is a concept that came about before individuals in the LGBTQ community could legally marry and have kids. Before we could form legal families, and for many whose actual families rejected them, chosen family are the people we choose to surround ourselves with and often spend holidays and special occasions with.
I have often been asked if I would have chosen to be gay. When I was younger, I would have probably said no because of the struggles I experienced coming out. But now my answer would be a resounding yes, because if I weren’t gay, I would have never met the people I’ve met, especially my chosen family. When a close friend expresses surprise that I am willing to do something to help them, I remind them we aren’t just friends. We are (chosen) family. And despite how much many of us love our biological families, think about how great it is to choose the members of a second family!
I have had great experiences volunteering, working with and meeting people at organizations such as the Philadelphia Phillies, AIDS Fund, National LGBTQ Bar Association, Philadelphia Bar Association, Pennsylvania Bar Association, Outsports.com, DMH Fund, ACLU of PA and many others. If I weren’t a gay man, I probably would have never been involved with these organizations in the same way. Nor would I have had the various opportunities to assume the positions of responsibility that I did.
As a gay man, I know what it is like to be viewed differently and treated differently based on something I have no control over. I believe this has contributed to (what I think is) my heightened sensitivity and desire for justice when others are treated differently because of things they cannot control, such as their race, ethnicity, gender or even age.
Recently I was at a Bar Association meeting where I was discussing the coming out process, which I believe to be a life-long process. Unless I am wearing a t-shirt that says something like “I am not gay but my boyfriend is” every time I encounter someone, I eventually need to make a decision whether or not to disclose my sexual orientation. While some of my friends would say, somewhat jokingly, that I don’t need to say anything because everyone already knows, it is still a conscious decision I must make, sometimes on a daily basis.
I can still remember the feeling of being afraid to be out at work when I was younger for fear of being fired or driven out. I know attorneys who are not out in their workplaces. There was and is still no statewide law protecting individuals from discrimination based on sexual orientation.
Many rights that were granted have come from court rulings. As we can see now, those same rights can also be taken away by court rulings.
Recently at SeniorLAW Center, we did an exercise where we asked all the staff what the word justice meant to them.I ask you to think about what justice means to you and what you can do to help achieve it. Remember that there are different types of justice: environmental justice, economic justice, criminal justice, gender justice or elder justice, and that these sometimes overlap.
You don’t have to be a legal professional to help in the pursuit of justice. You can do it by helping a neighbor or relative apply for the older Pennsylvanian Property Tax/Rent Rebate Program, or by encouraging someone to vote and helping them fill out an application for a mail-in ballot or taking them to a polling place to vote in-person.
Because everyone who knows me knows that I love music and lyrics, I will quote Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes.
“Wake up everybody, no more sleeping in bed,
no more backward thinking, time for thinking ahead,
the world has changed so very much from what it used to be,
there is so much hatred, war and poverty…
The world won’t get no better if we just let it be
The world won’t get no better, we gotta change it, yeah, just you and me”
It is sad that these lyrics written about 50 years ago are still relevant.
Finally, I want to share these words written by Edwin Markham, which were used when the radio (and later TV) serial The Guiding Light premiered in 1937. I believe this encapsulates why we are all here, and these are words we all should live by.
“There is a destiny that makes us brothers
None goes his way alone.
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own.”
SeniorLAW Center seeks justice for older people by using the power of the law, educating the community and advocating on the local, state and national levels. We serve over 10,000 older people each year. Our vision is a world that values older people, hears their voices and guarantees their rights. SeniorLAW Center changes individual lives and works to change systems to promote justice, security, and independence for older Americans and their families. To donate to SeniorLAW Center, visit SeniorLAWCenter.org/Donate or click below.